Sometimes as a parent it can be so hard to sit back and watch your kids figure out who they are and where they belong with their friends. I have watched my kids as they call or text a friend and they can’t hang out but they find out later that they were together with another group of friends. I have seen at recess some friends say, “Go find someone else to play with today.” I think the hardest thing for me is that when our child gets their feelings hurt it brings back the same feelings that I had when I was young. I want to share a story that happened to me when I was in the 6th grade and I think it really changed me.
I had a group of about 6 girlfriends in elementary. We stuck together and we really didn’t care about anyone else or their feelings. Yep you could say I was in a clique. Well I was really bossy…I know hard to believe =) and one day my group of friends decided to turn on me and not want anything to do with me. They got sick of me wanting to always be in charge. They would run away from me at recess and say and do really mean things. I am pretty sure I deserved some of it, but they went a little too far in the way they treated me. I had a hard time at school for about 5 days of them being really, really mean. I mean they would wait for me in the hall and just say things that were so mean. I refused to go to school and I stayed home for about a week. I still remember my 6th grade teacher Mrs. Williams coming to my house with some earrings and saying she missed me and that I needed to come back and try to make new friends and try to get over what these friends had done. It was hard, but I did it. When I came back they apologized and said they were sorry, but the damage was done. I really never was as close to them as I used to be and I learned that nobody likes to be bossed around and I needed to have a lot of friends and not be exclusive.
I am so grateful for my family and the friends I have in my life. I know I couldn’t go through this PARENTING thing without them. I want my kids to know that I too had to figure out which friends were good for me and that it is important to always be who you are and not change for ANYONE.
6 comments:
I deleted mine cause it was a little long. But seriously, that is the neatest story and such a life changer. You're such an amazing mom and person. Really. I love yah, Em. And those kids...sheesh...they're so lucky and cute and really liked by everyone they meet.
YOu go girl! I know being the parent is tough. Really tough. I feel lucky tho- cause I know that even if the kids are being "mean" I know their parents are teaching them the right stuff. But kids have to make their own choices. Such a bummer!!! Looks like we need to go to lunch. You know to laugh and realize our kids really will turn out. :)
great post emily-- i do believe this is one of the hardest things as a mom to watch. even harder, is sometimes stepping back and letting THEM (our kids) figure out how to work out these things by themselves. it's amazing what they sometimes learn about themselves (how strong they can be).
You're such a gem. I loved meeting you in 7th grade at Oly Jr. And have loved your beautiful friendship ever since.
This is a great post - definitely hard as a parent to stand back and let them learn this tough lesson, and harder because I feel like I have to learn it over and over again myself! Your kids are really blessed to have such great parents!
Post a Comment